Service: It's about love

I have been pondering about all the negativity and strife seen on the media, it being an election year and all. Concerned to see Presidential candidates speak and act more like schoolyard bullies than dignitaries. Aghast at how adults on Social Media are acting more like toddlers having a temper tantrum than mature people just because of who someone supports or does not support as a potential President. What happened to civility? It seems that these days how someone leans politically is the most important thing people consider about them, not their gender, race, character, nor their worth as a member of our human family. How you vote can effect your ability to be employed or even cause you to lose your job.

Gone by the wayside is the ability to celebrate diversity of gender, abilities and opinions. There seems to be a push for sameness and mediocrity. No one is allowed to excel or fail. It occurs to me that what a lot of people lack is charity. Unconditional love for one another. So, how does one develop charity for another? In a word: SERVICE. When we serve others, we learn to love and appreciate them. That is what is so lacking in this culture that is more concerned about "rights" than ensuring that all have equal opportunities to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to serve three of the elderly ladies in our church. On March 17, the Relief Society that all LDS women belong to celebrated its 174th anniversary. It is the oldest and largest women's organization in the world. Every year, Latter Day Saint women gather for a dinner or some other fun activity  in honor of this organization with such a rich history of philanthropy and good will.  It may surprise you to learn that Relief Society was instrumental in the creation of hospitals in this country, assisting women to get training as nurses, mid-wives and other useful careers, and also very active in the suffrage movement. For over a century and a half, the sisters of Relief Society have quietly served in their local communities and joined with other charitable organizations to relieve the suffering of others, in whatever form it arises, especially in times of crises.

My service of the evening was to provide the transportation so these good ladies could come and enjoy a wonderful feast and bask in the glow of friendship and sisterhood. Unfortunately, just as I had them all loaded up to go to the church, my old, tired van refused to start. I relied upon the good graces of the nice young woman at the front desk of the retirement home for assistance. She was more than happy to give my battery a jump with the new cables her mom had recently given her for "just such an occasion".  We were late, and I was a bit stressed trying to get them all there, but I was well paid for my service as I watched their glowing faces and listened to their animated conversations during the Relief Society dinner.

I wonder...what would happen if our elected officials would remember to serve the people rather than attempt to be their Lord and Master? What would happen if the news media would begin reporting just the facts and embrace their role as informers and protectors of the people rather than trying to manipulate, indoctrinate, and destroy for ratings. What if all of us really strove to serve everyone in our human family regardless of differences in politics, religion, race or creed? 

I encourage you to consider ways you can serve your community. This cold and dreary world needs your light, your hope, your love.  Your SERVICE.

What Is My Worth?

One of my favorite stories is the one about how someone holds up a twenty dollar bill and then asks their audience if anyone would like it. Then he proceeds to crumple it up and asks if they still want it. Of course, everyone still does.  He uses this to illustrate the point that by the time we get to adulthood, we are ALL crumpled,and a bit worse for wear, but our value as children of God is still the same.

Today, in church we were talking about surviving adversity, meanwhile keeping our faith in the gospel intact and somehow experiencing joy and peace in the journey. Many of us spoke about how the mere knowledge that the Savior is there to walk beside us comforts and helps us get through whatever trial we are facing. The topic of feeling worthless until we learned the knowledge of the gospel and how we all have a divine birthright as literal and spiritual children of God was brought up and ever since, I have been pondering the different phases I have gone through regarding my own sense of worth(or lack thereof).

It is hard to believe at times that our times of adversity are not always our fault. Here are a few quotes from today's lesson that spoke to me. The words are from Howard W Hunter(1907-1995) who was President/Prophet of the LDS Church when I first joined in 1993.

"I have observed that life—every life—has a full share of ups and downs. Indeed, we see many joys and sorrows in the world, many changed plans and new directions, many blessings that do not always look or feel like blessings, and much that humbles us and improves our patience and our faith. We have all had those experiences from time to time, and I suppose we always will..."

“When [the difficulties of mortality] humble us and refine us and teach us and bless us, they can be powerful instruments in the hands of God to make us better people.”

"So I hope you won’t believe all the world’s difficulties have been wedged into your decade, or that things have never been worse than they are for you personally, or that they will never get better. I reassure you that things have been worse and they will always get better. They always do—especially when we live and love the gospel of Jesus Christ and give it a chance to flourish in our lives. …"

"Contrary to what some might say, you have every reason in this world to be happy and to be optimistic and to be confident. Every generation since time began has had some things to overcome and some problems to work out."

"We need to have faith and hope, two of the great fundamental virtues of any discipleship of Christ. We must continue to exercise confidence in God, inasmuch as that is the first principle in our code of belief. We must believe that God has all power, that he loves us, and that his work will not be stopped or frustrated in our individual lives or in the world generally. …"

"I promise you in the name of the Lord whose servant I am that God will always protect and care for his people. We will have our difficulties the way every generation and people have had difficulties. But with the gospel of Jesus Christ, you have every hope and promise and reassurance. The Lord has power over his Saints and will always prepare places of peace, defense, and safety for his people. When we have faith in God we can hope for a better world—for us personally, and for all mankind."

These words do help me in my struggles to erase the negative tapes in my head that whisper I have few talents, I am a total screw-up, I am lazy,etc...to see that adversity in my life is not evidence of any lack in me nor does it effect my worth; especially in God's eyes. Too often, I embrace the negative attitudes and harsh criticisms of others, yet neglect to embrace and internalize all the many compliments and acts of love that are offered to me.

So where are you on this path of self-worth discovery? I would love your feedback and the opportunity to cheer you on.

“Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail. …

“Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.” (D&C 6:34, 36.)

Like a Bad Penny....I Am Back!

During a conversation today during our church potluck someone mentioned how much they enjoy my blog and I realized that although I have been posting on Facebook, I have not actually published a blog post since May of 2011! 

So, what has happened in my life since 2011? Fascinatingly enough, a lot of my struggles are exactly the same, with a bit of progress toward my goals, but not as much as I had hoped.I fell off the sugar-free diet bandwagon and have not been able to get back on. I do not yet exercise on a regular basis, and still do not follow the Fly Lady's counsel on how to become clutter-free, even though I added her app to my tablet. Yet, I do feel I have progressed spiritually and am happier today than I was four years ago or even two years ago. I developed fasciitis in my left heel and after a year of the pain not going away opted for surgery on that and the bunion on my big toe.

Christopher, my oldest son and his wife, Ginny still live in Lubbock, TX, but are planning to move to the Fort Collings, CO area in the next year or two.

Erica is married to Kevin and our only grand-son, Mark is five and attending Kindergarten at Herkimer Elementary.

Angelena graduated from High School,attended BYU-Idaho University, met Taylor and as of August 15, 2015 became Mrs.Taylor Pulis. They live in Billings, MT.

My church callings have been: RS President, Primary Worker, Stake Social Media Specialist, Assistant Director of Utica Stake Public Affairs, and Family History Center Director. I also volunteer at the local Public Library in West Winfield.

Blake was called as Branch President of the Herkimer Branch and he served for four years. Several of our friends and my dad passed away.

Petwise, our lab mix Strider and our cats, Rascal and Clown have passed away. Curtis still sleeps with a little plush puppy with the same black and tan coloring that he named Strider. Santa brought us a black lab puppy last Christmas that we named Lily. Aunt Sue gave Curtis a gold fish for Christmas that he has named Dexter.

Curtis is now ten and in the fourth grade, looking forward to attending middle school next year and very busy in Cubscouts. Marie is seven and excitedly looking forward to being baptized on her 8th birthday on Friday,May 1st.

So now that you are caught up on my life, my next post will have an actual topic and we will go from there...

Love Shed Abroad in Our Hearts

There once was a man who had a dream that he was lost. As he wandered, trying to find his way back home through a dense, gray mist he became aware of an iron rod and he felt compelled to grab onto it. As soon as he did, his vision cleared. Looking around he observed that there were many fellow travelers who were lost as he had been. There were others moving along the rod as well. Some of those eventually let go and many of them were carried away and drowned in a muddy river that raged alongside the rod. This unbending, straight iron rod led to a  beautiful fountain in a spacious field. Beside it was a tree. It was the most beautiful tree he had ever seen. In fact, it glowed! On it hung fruit that was so pure and white he could barely look at it. The man could not help himself. He just had  to pluck some of that luscious fruit and take a bite.
It was the sweetest, most delicious food he had ever tasted. Immediately, he had an overwhelming desire for his entire family to come to this tree and partake of its miraculous fruit.

As he looked around, he noticed a huge, spacious building on the other side of the muddy river. It was a very handsome mansion and there was a grand party going on inside. The man observed that the occupants were dressed in expensive, fine clothes. Amazingly enough they only seemed to be obsessed with one activity: doing whatever they could to move people away from the tree. They were pointing their fingers at the people eating the fruit of the tree and were actively taunting and mocking them. Sadly, some of those who had been eagerly feasting on the fruit, suddenly became ashamed because of the the taunts and jeers of those in the huge, spacious building and they let go of the iron rod, left the tree and attempted to move toward the raucous crowd.

But, alas, it seemed that the building and all those in it were merely a mirage. No-one ever seemed to reach it and for those who foolishly made the futile attempt, there was no grand party for them as they were either swallowed up and carried off by the raging, muddy river or lost in strange, forbidden paths in the murky mist.

Desperately, the man scanned the multitudes of people for his own family. There they were! With a loud cry, the man beckoned for them to join him at the glowing tree and once they arrived
he eagerly encouraged them to partake of the delicious fruit. What joy he felt as some of them did so and were also filled with immense joy. What frustration and sadness he felt when some refused to even approach the tree and what anguish he felt when some chose to leave after having once experienced the joy of partaking of the fruit. Had he done enough to persuade them to come to the tree? Had he nurtured them with enough fruit once they arrived at the tree? Had he been enthusiastic enough about the fruit he had eaten and its affect upon him? He exerted even more efforts to get his entire family to make their way to the tree and to remain there, nourished by an unending supply of fruit. After what seemed an eternity, some did return. Tragically, some never did...

In previous posts on this blog we have been discussing the Seven Wonders:

Courage, Faith, Truth, Compassion,Friendship, Family, and Common Sense.

I believe the above story comprises all of those qualities. Those of you who are LDS or have attended the Hill Cumorah Pageant in Palmyra, NY will recognize the story as based on Lehi’s Dream in the Book of Mormon. However, the application of this dream is universal. In fact, artwork from many cultures and nations depict such Trees.

What would the Iron Rod, Tree and Fruit represent for you in your life? The Dark Mists, Muddy River, Forbidden Paths, Great and Spacious Building? What is it in your life that you are allowing to block your path; preventing you from moving toward your divinely chosen Assignments and Life Mission? Who is mocking you and your decisions, pointing their finger, telling you that you are wrong and making you feel ashamed to be expressing your True Self ie your God given talents, attributes and natural Charity toward your fellow beings? Why are you heeding them? What false beliefs about yourself, your potential, your worth are causing you to stagnate, clouding your vision of what is most important, what is true, what you need to be doing and where you need to go?

For me and those of my Faith, the tree represents the Tree of Life and its Fruit is God’s Love which sheds itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; which also makes it the most desirable above all things and the most joyous to the Soul. The Iron Rod is the Truth of God’s Word that safely leads us in that narrow, straight path toward the Fountain of Living Waters(the Gospel of Christ) and the Love of our Heavenly Father. The Mists of Darkness and Muddy River represent the mess we get ourselves into when we get distracted by worldly concerns, fall into errors by following the False Precepts of Men, or succumb to Temptations, Addictions, Pride, or even plain Apathy and either never reach the Tree and partake of its Fruit or fail to continue to comply with that Truth. The spacious building and mocking people represent the Pride of the world at large; those who would mock sacred things and lead God’s children away from the simple, plain truths that bring them joy and fulfillment in their lives as they serve God by serving others.

I have been thinking a great deal about the Tree of Life and my level of Love & Compassion for my fellow beings. I have a great desire to love as God loves. To not be petty or self-serving in any way. Alas, I have many weaknesses and fail miserably at times in this endeavor. I am judgemental, critical, impatient, lazy, prideful. I struggle to forgive offenses, imagined or real. I struggle to forgive myself. Yet, I can honestly declare that I have feasted at the Tree of Life and have tasted of this Fruit, if only a nibble at a time. It is a wonderful feeling to possess even the tiniest portion of God’s love. When I choose the path of forgiveness and compassion my whole world is full of more Light and Energy. My burdens do not seem so heavy. I do at times love deeply. Being a mom has flooded my heart with God’s love in a profound way. Being married has tested and stretched my ability to love and forgive. The Book of Mormon defines charity as the  “pure love of Christ”. The LDS Relief Society( the world’s oldest and largest organization of women)uses the Biblical motto: Charity never faileth.  It is only when we give up that we do not succeed. I have drunk from that bitter cup more than once in my life and have also drunk from the bitter cup of others giving up on me.

Recently, I have had some choice experiences with forgiving others and asking for their forgiveness. It was very humbling for me and healing for all concerned. I am learning that it matters not who is right, what the offense was or by whose hand the blow is dealt or even how often the offense has occurred. Owning up to my responsibility for my choices and saving the relationship when possible is what is most paramount.

So, am I saying that if you are in a situation where you or others are being abused or mistreated and your lives or well-being are at stake that you continue to allow that? That is where the attribute of Common Sense comes in to play. Prayerfully decide what your boundaries of safety need to be with the toxic people in your life. Then take steps to discover and rid your life of whatever has or could put you and your loved ones in a similar situation of risk, meanwhile remaining open to adapt and adjust those safety nets when and if they ever make the choice to grow and change in positive ways. If you must break off a relationship, you can choose to leave the situation with honor. To take the high road by exercising long-suffering, patience, mercy, and charity.

Have no illusions - this will not be easy! It takes great Courage and Integrity. I confess I did not always take the high road in the past and still fail to do so at times. Yet, I have discovered that beginning the long, winding process of forgiving both others and myself for my part in any conflicts has allowed me to move on with my life, unfettered by bitterness, remorse, guilt, shame and other ill feelings that only impede my happiness and ability to fully embrace life. I have learned not to ”punish” in word or deed those who have offended me by refusing to embarrass, gossip about, or speak harshly to them.  In short, I make the choice to continue to love and honor them and whatever the nature of our relationship has been in the past, even if it needs to be from a safe distance.

I have found that my job is not to be their judge and jury. My job is to forgive(which is a monumental enough task in itself) and to trust that God’s divine balance of Justice and Mercy will prevail. My job is to accept whatever that looks like, even when all current evidence seems contrary to what my wisdom would dictate, if I were “King of the Forest”.

My concern must be to love others as I would have them love me, especially when I really, really screw up. My task is to continue to plead and pray for their Greater Good, their Ultimate Salvation, their Return to the Tree; meanwhile taking necessary measures to ensure my and others’ welfare within my circles of influence and then to “let go and let God” take over.

Yesterday in Sunday School we discussed the parables of the Prodigal Son and the Laborers in the Vineyard. In both stories there were people who were upset at the Father/Lord’s generosity and lack of “fairness”. They seemed to be operating from the viewpoint of temporary scarcity rather than eternal abundance and comparing their rewards to what others were receiving based on righteous or not-so-righteous choices and “hours” of labor in the Lord’s Vineyard.

When the father in the parable of the prodigal son lovingly explains to the son who has always been faithful to him that he has no need to be jealous of the lavish banquet thrown for the returned prodigal because “...all that I have is [already]thine”, I  am reminded of my own shameful display of pride and competitiveness once while playing the board game,  “Settlers of Zarahemlah”. “Why is everyone picking on me”??!!!  I pouted. My husband is still hysterical about the fact I was so caught up in feeling sorry for myself that I had not even realized I was winning the game! OUCH.

Perhaps it is world events that appear to be the fulfilling of ancient prophecies unfolding right before my eyes or perhaps my personal development has just been a bit too poky for too long. I have been working on my character defects for many years with various levels of success. As I have stated in earlier posts, I tend to crawl at a tortoise’s pace. Lately though, I feel God strongly urging me to get my House in order in every respect: spiritually, physically, financially and to do it NOW. No excuses, no whining, no more procrastination. TUH-DAY, Sonia!

When I pause to look back, I am relieved to see progress, to see how far I have come on my journey. Some thorns in my side that were very painful afflictions have been completely eliminated and others for the most part neutralized. This gives me Hope and the strength to hold tight to the Iron Rod and continue to move toward that Tree of Life and feast on its Fruit as often as possible.

So where are you on your Path toward your Tree of Life and the Fruit that will bring you the most Joy and Satisfaction in your life?

May you have the tenacity to seek out your Iron Rod if you are currently wandering in “strange roads” that are not leading to your True Destination and then to stubbornly hang on once you find it and make your way to whatever your True Purpose will be in this life.

God Bless Us Every One,

Sonia

Joseph Smith Prophet of the Restoration

I was so moved by this movie! Being exactly 181 years today since the founding of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints I just had to post it immediately after seeing it. Regardless of what you believe about this religion and the man who founded it, this is a slice of history most Americans know little or nothing about and it is one of the greatest stories of faith and endurance among a people since the Revolutionary war and the displacement of the American Indians. I am still shocked that these things happened to innocent men, women, and children in THIS country and amazed at how well most of them endured it. I am very proud of my Mormon heritage and only pray to live up to my ancestors's legacy.

Joseph Smith Prophet of the Restoration

Courage

I have recently taken the pledge to do the 7 Day Plan on the Seven Wonders website I have mentioned in previous posts. I have so much on my plate already it is taking me several days to do one day's worth of reading and answering questions.(Yes, I am on the Tortoise Program). I encourage you to do this, too. For those of you familiar with 12 Step programs, it is akin to taking a moral inventory in the fourth step.  Even with all the "program" and years of professional counseling plus being active in church I have under my belt, I am amazed at how much I still need to take a closer look at inside. You can access the plan at:

 http://theseven.glennbeck.com/the-7-day-pledge/

The first segment is: Inviting Courage into Your Life.

What first comes to your mind when you think of the word courage? I always think of the Cowardly Lion's song in The Wizard of Oz movie. "What have they got, that I haven't got? Courage!" It takes courage to thrive in this world. It takes courage to make course corrections as we go along life's journey, whichever path we choose to take. It takes courage to even admit we need a course correction. It takes courage to live our religion if we have one, to take a stand for what we believe, to take a stand and speak out against the evils of our day. For some of us, just waking up and getting out of bed to face another day takes courage.


Dr. Keith Ablow says in the Seven Wonders book; "Our courage is tested when we resist taking the easy way out or giving in to negative patterns that we know in our hearts will harm us, damage other people, or show disrespect to institutions, callings, or causes that we care about. Being tested can be incredibly painful. That's why courage so often keeps company with fear and doubt. It's the force that allows you to move forward, despite understandable fears and doubts, one small step at a time". He goes on to use the story of Esther in the Bible who risked her life to save her people and senator Daniel Webster who did his utmost to prevent the Civil War as wonderful examples of courage. He states in the 7 Day Plan: "Change always involves some measure of suffering. That's why human beings tend to avoid it, sometimes limiting themselves for their whole lives. It takes courage to discover oneself and embrace that person."


The scariest question asked in this section for me was: What does one person close to me think I could do to substantially improve my existence? Blake's answer for me was: "Take immediate responsibility for my actions."  Yup. Whenever my husband calls me on something, I almost always get very defensive and deny or explain it rather than either just acknowledging I messed up, if I truly have or calmly disagree with his assessment and move on. 


The number one area of  "change" I am currently working on is regular, daily exercise. This has been a mountain in my path for a long time. I am involved in Dr. Stan Gardner's Ease On Down weight loss program and doing just about everything in it BUT the daily exercise part! The most I can do is maybe three or four days in a row and then I skip almost a week, then go back to it. 


Why is this such a struggle for me you ask? Laziness could be part of it. Yet, as most things that impede our progress, it stems from issues in the past. I spent my whole childhood trying to spend as much time "out" of my body as possible so as not to feel physical and emotional pain. One of my nicknames at home was "Double Ugly". Although the family member who called me that was only teasing, it only reinforced the ugliness and unworthiness I already felt inside. As a young child I could not understand that bad things that happened to me were not my fault, nor that of my body. I know today that I did not cause them, nor did I deserve them, but there is still some sadness that is released when I use my body and realize that I no longer have a valid reason to hate it. It is my friend, not my enemy. That means I have to look squarely at who harmed me and give that responsibility back to them and process whatever leftover sadness, anger, regrets, disillusionment, etc that remains for me. That is still an internal war going on for me and so I resist physical activity that brings up those emotions and validates and increases positive things about my body. I have learned to look people in the eye for at least a few minutes at a time and slowly but surely am tackling this exercise "mountain".


Here are a couple of scriptures I found regarding courage:

Psalms 31:24

24 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.

1 Chronicles 22:13

13 Then shalt thou prosper, if thou takest heed to fulfil the statutes and judgments which the Lord charged Moses with concerning Israel: be strong, and of good courage; dread not, nor be dismayed.


It boils down to this: I need to accept the things I really am responsible for and let go of those that I am not and realize that God will help me in that endeavor. So, what areas of your life are you needing to exhibit courage in? 


May God strengthen you and give you the courage you need to help you scale your own mountains,

Sonia

Is It Flu Season Already, Cuz I Got the Family History Bug....Bad!!!

Yup, I  am off on yet another venture...

It started out so innocently....

I was trying to make my "down time" have a bit more purpose and meaning, so decided to download the LDS Church's Indexing Program on Family Search.org. Indexing is taking a copy of an original document and transcribing the info on it into a digital format. It is very easy to do and anyone can sign up to do it, whether you are a member of our church or not. They send you little batches and give you detailed instructions on how to enter the information. This info is then added to the free online family search website and available for the public to enable them to research their genealogy. Most batches can be completed in under an hour.

As always with me, one thing leads to another. I found myself entering index info while listening to inspirational talks and music in the background, even while listening to some of my home business training webinars and such. I found out there is a huge need for people with knowledge of languages other then English to index documents from other countries, so I have been doing batches in Spanish from places like Mexico and Argentina.

Then my mom informed me the other day, when I asked her a question about a relative, that I have all of the handwritten family group sheets of our ancestors and there are no other copies of that info. The same week, someone at church mentioned that we have all been asked to make sure our genealogy is completed for four generations back. It is now my goal to have that finished by the end of the month. Most of it has already been compiled, my arduous task is to sift through it and correct data and combine duplicate records on the new family search website and make sure that all the church ordinances and records are in order.

Our hard drive crashed last year and the family history records I had saved on it have not yet been retrieved. (Of course I had neglected to have a backup disc)! I decided to try out a different program called RootsMagic and found it to be fairly easy to use and it is directly linked up to the family search website so I can share and match info at the touch of a button to and from the familysearch website, which is way cool.

So, I dragged out all the boxes full of family history and like a kid in a candy store have literally spent days just entering info into my RootsMagic program. I am not sure how well staying in my bathrobe until noon fits into my "more productive" endeavor, but it is what it is. I wonder if I might have a wee bit of an addictive personality in my makeup? You make the call....

Sonia